Do you feel that lately you are not well with your partner? How do you know if you are going through a relationship crisis? In any love relationship there are some times that are better than others.
The stress, monotony, arguments and problems They can cause a relationship to slowly unravel. But we have to know how to differentiate what a bad streak is from a couple crisis.
There is no reason to be alarmed, going through a couple crisis is very common, especially in couples who have been together for years. Not for that, it means that love is over and you have to break. There are times when, due to circumstances, a more complicated and difficult period is experienced in the couple.
But if both of you are willing to solve them and fight together, this relationship crisis can strengthen your relationship and help you get to know each other better.
Next we are going to see several indicative signs that you are going through a couple crisis. It is important not to let them pass so that no more cracks are made in the relationship and even go to couples therapy if necessary.
You argue frequently.
Something very indicative of going through a couple crisis and one of the things we first look at is how often we argue with our partner.
Any situation can turn into a fight. This usually happens because you are “burned” and at the slightest sparks fly.
In this case you should learn to control those impulses and know how to argue well, with an end You are not always going to agree on everything and it is good that you give the other your point of view, but the key is to reach agreements. It’s the tug of war sometimes it will pull one and loosen the other and vice versa.
And above all, knowing which war you should enter and which one you shouldn’t because it’s not worth it.
You don’t have time for yourselves.
Basically it is called interest in the other person. If you want to spend time with that person, you do everything possible and impossible to get it out.
It is clear that we have obligations such as work, if there are children, running the house. But that does not prevent you from having time for both of you because it has to be assess priorities and our partner must be one of them.
Many times all those obligations become the perfect excuse to not spend time with the other person. This is where you should ask yourself why you really don’t want to spend time with that person and before you do and if it is something you can redirect.
It is not necessary to do great things together, which can also be. The difference is in the small detailssuch as watching a movie together before bed, going out to dinner or at home, going for a walk or just sitting down to talk throughout the day.
The loving details have been lost.
It is true that there are people who are more affectionate than others. Rather, they express that affection more explicitly than others. There are many ways to express our love.
Here what you have to assess is How were each of you at the beginning of the relationship?. If you keep that attention and concern for the other, if you continue to have those details and tokens of love.
Or if, on the contrary, you no longer feel like all that and it seems like an unnecessary effort. In this case, you should ask yourself why. It is important to listen to us and know why this happens to us and since when.
We look more at the defects of the other than at the virtues.
Both you and your partner are the same (generally speaking) as when you met. The two things that have changed and make things different are individual and couple irascibility or exhaustion and the tilt of the balance towards the negative side.
This translates to you focus more on the negative aspects of the other and these weigh more than when you met. In the same way, being more irritable with the other, anything bothers us more and we give it much more importance than it has.
Many times the scales we make are misleading because we do it with the quantity and not with the quality of what we put. One virtue may be equivalent to ten defects or negative things.
That is why we can enter a vicious circle of negativity where we not only look at everything negative about the other but also increase it. And this facilitates arguments and irascibility.
Lack of compromise.
When we are in a relationship, we invest certain emotional aspects to make the couple work, such as affection, time, life projects, admiration, etc.
One of the causes of a couple crisis is undoubtedly the imbalance between what both members contribute. That is, when one of them has the feeling of being more committed than the other.
It is when the common project is set aside and individual projects take higher priority. This entails a lower investment or quality of it than at the beginning of the relationship.
Many couples come to therapy because they have the feeling that one of them rows alone or that each one rows in the opposite direction.
Sexual encounters are becoming less frequent.
It is not a symptom that by itself leads to a couple crisis, but it is common that, over time, you can lose the passion and the initial magic.
This occurs due to the phases we experience in love. The phase of falling in love is influenced by the activation of hormones that make sex frequent and of quality.
As we go through phases, the monotony, the loss of that novelty and the decrease of those hormones affect both the quantity and the quality of sex that is practiced.
If you add to this that you are more defensive and angry with that person, it is obvious that you are not going to want to maintain physical contact with him/her.
The question you should ask yourself is whether this lack of libido is due to all this we have said or basically it is that you no longer want to be with that person and in one way or another your body is telling you. It is a matter of knowing how to listen to us.
In the first case, the spark and passion can be reactivated by making changes in this aspect and in others that are affecting the couple to make it easier for you to meet again.
Lack of trust.
This lack of confidence may be due to not feeling completely sure of yourself and this is reflected in your partner, you have a hard time opening up or you no longer feel like doing it for some reason.
Or by loss of trust due to recurrent lies or deception, and even infidelity.
When there is no trust in the couple, one of the parties can assume possessive behaviors that cause anguish, insecurity and oppression.
The wounds of distrust are difficult to heal, although it is not impossible, but they require time and effort on the part of both members of the couple.
Loss of communication.
It is closely linked to trust since it encourages deeper communication. You may have never had good communication or that over time it has been lost.
Communication is one of the fundamental pillars to have a healthy relationship. since it is the means we have to make our thoughts, emotions and desires known to the other.
On many occasions we discuss the mistake of thinking that the other should know what we want and we enter the fortune teller game. But, if we don’t say what happens to us or what we want, it is impossible for the other person to guess.
Having space and time to communicate deeply as a couple is essential to connect with the other and walk together.
Lack of cooperation.
As the popular phrase says: “the friction makes the affection and the chafing”. It usually happens that one of the most frequent sources in the couple’s arguments are those that have to do with housework.
Above all, when one of the two has the greater weight of these. This is when frustration and reproaches come into play.
To avoid this, it is recommended not overload the other with responsibilities and value what is done.
Also, it is important that both of you make decisions and not expect one of you to take the lead and the other to wait to be told what to do.
More than two in the couple.
And here an infidelity is not necessary so that there are more people in the relationship, the opinions of family or friends may have a lot of weight in one or both members of the couple.
If it is already difficult to combine between two, with more people the situation is complicated.
Advice or points of view from outside can be taken into account to clarify ourselves at a given moment, but you must understand and put into practice that the relationship is an agreement between the two and that the rest should be left out of the equationincluding the children.
Have to know set limits on others and not let ourselves be influenced by the wishes or opinions of others.
The crises of couple are surmountable if you know how.
Couple crises are one of the main reasons for breakups and are a real headache. One of the things that makes them so harmful is that Many times they do not have a clear cause, they can appear without more, without a specific reason.
We can think that this deterioration of the relationship is due to the simple passage of time, but the truth is that time does not weaken and strengthen relationships, but ourselves.
In order to know how we can deal with these couple crises, it is essential to know what are the day-to-day relational dynamics that are feeding them.
Stopping to observe what has brought us to this point and pull on a bit of humility to recognize our mistakes and have the joint commitment to rectify them, valuing each aspect of the relationship accordingly.
Detecting the signs that tell us that we are going through a couple crisis is crucial to react as soon as possible.